"I don't HAVE to go tonight . . ."

Oh, Lord, it’s so fun playing hooky. So satisfying to say, “I don’t HAVE to go tonight.” I can stay home-- recoup my spirits. Heaven knows--as You do, Lord, how much those spirits need reviving these days. So maybe it’s Your comforting Spirit urging me to avoid this obligation.  You did say we have to become as children to enter Your kingdom. Aren’t those bad boys joyfully playing hooky about as child-like as you can get?     

But I fear, Lord. After missing one meeting, one march, one letter writing campaign, one call—it will become SO much easier next time. Once that nose of the camel gets into my tent, I’ll soon be a dis-graced activist dropout.

Oh, God, help me discern the forces behind my pleasure in avoidance. Honest fatigue? I do feel overwhelmed, Lord: I fear one more meeting will deplete my endurance for future work--- the last straw on my camel’s back. I’ll snap at my husband, give an irritated “NO!” the next time I’m asked. Best just to stay home. Finally get to have fun, rather than face one more seemingly impossible task.  

Because, as for fun---real fasting is definitely NOT.

And, if we have to fast from our fears, what will replace them?      

Ah, Yes, Lord—Your great love will. Fill us up with it, until we can find, again, what feeds us. Then our glad heart shall meet that deep need of the world. Amen.